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This week I want us to look into the “I CAN” in relationships. Over the past few weeks I have had several saddening conversations with those who feel as though they want to walk away from a life with God, and even pastors who want to walk away from ministry do to relational hurts. This has driven me to write this post today about the “I CAN” in relationships this week. There may be some of you reading this, or those who will read this in the future that have been hurt by some form of relationship. That hurt  can cause us to close ourselves off and say there’s no way I can open myself up to the potential of being hurt again, but Christ in us says you can.   

In life the very thing that hurt you relationally, can also bring healing to you.  What do I mean by this? When I was a young boy my dad left and therefore, I never had a relationship with him. Fatherhood hurt me as a young man, but fatherhood has also healed me as an older man. Being a father to my children has brought me healing from the pain of my father leaving me. When we embrace life with an open heart we know hurts and pains will come. Yet, it is from those places of pain, when yielded to Christ, purpose can shine forth like the morning sun through the clouds.  There truly is purpose that comes out of places of pain in life. I have had people in my life make promise to me and yet those promises went unfulfilled. Promises made by people I looked up to went unfulfilled, people who I thought would be in my life are no longer. I’m sure some of you have had similar experiences as well. What am I saying? You can’t allow relationships in your life to distract you nor discourage you from the purpose God has for your life.

The number one way the devil keeps you from moving forward in life and saying “I can” is by holding you captive. He tries to keep you in the mindset of “I cant” based on the negative experiences of past relationships. He will say things like, you can't attend church and be a part of a small group where you share your life with others...that would open your heart up for potential hurt.  You can't have a good marriage because your parents marriage didn't work out. You can't invest your time and energy in your church because your last pastor hurt you. You can't be a great mother, you can't be a great father. The bible says:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

-John 10:10 NLT

We see in this scripture two purposes. One the purpose of God and the other, the devil or the thief. We see very clearly that the thief desires to take from you, while it is God's desire to give you a rich and satisfying life. One takes, the other gives. The devil desires to take from you and isolate you by using the pains of the past. Today I believe that you can be set free from the thief's purpose and walk into God's purpose for your life. The God life is a rich and satisfying life! This doesn’t mean you won't experience any trouble in relationships but it does mean you can have peace in unpeaceful situations.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

-John 16:33 says

As the lead minister of Faith Builders International, it is my desire to help believers of all denominations and cultures understand how to respond to a crisis moment whenever they may occur. Jesus said, you will have trials and sorrows but don’t give up, take heart because I have already overcome the world for you. In Christ we CAN have strong relationships and let go of the past that says you can't.  Today, make the decision to not allow the past to rule your present and rob you of your future. Take heart and know that your future looks much brighter than the darkest days of your past. Why? Because, Christ in you says, “I CAN” make all things new again.  

Take a moment, and say this prayer aloud:

Father, in Jesus name, I thank you for healing my heart of the hurts of the past from people who have hurt me, disappointed me, and discouraged me. I thank you today that what has hurt me is also healing me as I engage in healthy Godly relationships with others. I thank you for giving me the courage to reach out and be a friend to someone else. I decree and declare that I will not be held back but that I am moving forward and will see the purposes of God fulfilled in my life. Thank you Jesus for setting me free today from all hurts, pains, and failures that I have encountered in my relationships. I am free to love others just as you freely love me. In Jesus name, Amen.